The Asylumentary is an online sanctuary of insanity. It serves to broadcast the pollution that my wicked mind has to offer. If you like me and what I do, then... keep looking and be sure to come back every half-hour so you can be the first to see anything new here! Not to mention I might even love you for it. If you can't handle the content of this site, then kindly go away. If you hate me for what I do, your opinion means nothing and your ways of thinking and reasoning are laughable and inferior!

Enjoy your stay at Asylumentary.com.

The Asylumentary Updates

26/1/10: Having submitted Fruit N' Veg Attack II - Blood Ash Salad to Newgrounds (not sure if they need a link since they are one of the biggest entities online, but it's the least I can do), I couldn't be happier with the outcome. They featured it on the front page and already it has seen a lot of attention and good feedback. I thank them dearly for that and I thank those who gave me positive feedback. I also appreciate the constructive criticism, so thanks for that too. For those who gave me stupid comments and obviously want their 30 seconds back after watching the movie, well, you just wasted your time even more and thus have my non-condolences.

A new animation is being planned and I'll see what I can do in the next 2 or 3 months since I plan to make it even better. It might have something to do with fruit and vegetables, but I'm more than likely to put in other fucked up and demonic elements. It will be a bit longer, but not too long since I prefer to keep things short and sweet. If a project is too lengthy, refinement gets extremely frustrating. Ok, enough excuses. Time to mentally rape the world some more.

With The Sick Child (tentatively titled and formerly TMLR) book, slow progress is evident. I'm only gonna focus on one short story at a time. Concentrating on 8 at a time was a difficult process for me and it ended up compromising quality. Pictures are still being planned too. Hell, I still don't know what the title will be in the end, but we'll just call it The Sick Child for now.

19/1/10: To honour this new decade of madness, I present to thee a pair of visual abominations - The Arabian Placenta Commando and Fruit N' Veg Attack II - Blood Ash Salad.

19/12/09: I always wondered what would happen to sperm cells when they're swallowed, so I reached into the dank slimy pits of Hell inside my brain and created Acid Drenched Spermoids.

3/12/09: I have two things for you - Ode To The Chainsaw and Fruit N' Veg Attack - Declaration Of War.

Ode To The Chainsaw is a tribute to the cure for the disease that is human flesh. I'm sure you picked that one up quicker than the average fucko picks up AIDS (another handsome cure for our race). I've lost track of how long I've been a Chainsaw fanboy for. I think I started honouring the Chainsaw Gods when I was eight.

Fruit N' Veg Attack is a minute long animation with sound and even some music. This is something I thought of a long time ago but left in my graveyard for a long time. Too long! Take my hand, click the link and enjoy the animation. As probably stated on the page, there are more animations to come.

Summer is here in Australia. Not sure how much I welcome the weather. On one hand the hot weather fuels my imagination and reminds me of Hellish desolation. Especially when hot winds blow.

20/09/09: I've been a bit late in uploading this but this one is not quite as late. Yep, you have two new pieces of ugliness to look at. Just don't look at them for too long, or you'll develop kidney stones or turn to bloodied sludge. More things are in development, as the syphillitic warlocks continue to work the cauldron inside my skull.

12/05/09: Firstly, I hope you enjoy my newest offerings of eyeball desecration. I intend to post some creations in the Catalog every now and then. Whether or not they'll actually be posted is another matter.

I've still been rewriting the book and there will be changes to be made for some of the titles (yes, "The Misanthropic Lifetime Reborn" may be changed to something different), characters and of course, the wording in general. I want to cut out and incinerate the parts I don't like and replace them with better slabs of content.

I also want to make the writing sound more "natural". But make no mistake, the stories won't be natural. I aim to ensure plenty of abnormality throughout each story and I'm trying not to worry too much about realism. While realism can make things more interesting, I'd best not fret too much about it. It's fiction, after all. Not science, let alone a cure for ball cancer.

I've got a long road ahead, but it's good fun. Hard work at times, which keeps things interesting.

And to hell with the swine flu propaganda. If people find it so hard to refrain from screwing farm animals, then they should simply grease up a piece of bacon and have sexy time with it. What's next? Chimpatitus B? Iguanawenza?

11/03/09: It has come to my attention that I have been extremely slack with providing updates. I know I said that "The Misanthropic Lifetime Reborn" was finished, but I had another look at it and - you guessed it - it's not quite finished yet. I am on my way with making changes and when I'm done there will be more content and images. I might post some of them here. I'd best make no promises though. This isn't the first time I've announced the completion of a project only to be proven wrong later.

Writing stories can be hard work and so they should be. Once I've finished this editing run, I will then check the stories to eliminate mistakes. For those of you who have been waiting for this book to come, you have been more than patient and I would really like to deliver this beast. I've also been working on content for "Unspeakable", the second book. I'd like to crack some fucked up jokes but I'm due for bed. Maybe I'll try next time.

14/07/08: More excerpts are available in the catalog, for "The Misanthropic Lifetime Reborn". I have been working on the next book as well as playing tetris with various skinless corpses and contemplating anything else I need to do before getting TMLR self-published. Things are very slow but steady.

4/04/08: Excellent news... I have finished "The Misanthropic Lifetime Reborn". I'm gonna post at least some of the shit here, probably even all of it eventually. I was going to exclusively print this beast of damnation into books but I've decided that the actual books can be for those who are interested. But for those who wanna read it and don't mind reading shit on a computer screen, I'll post it. Not like I'd make money from this thing anyway. I never cared to make money from my fucked up work, so it doesn't matter.

Besides, I have a proper day job now. That gets me enough money.

Since I started writing TMLR in 2005, you may wonder why I didn't post the bits and pieces as I went along. Well, it would be grossly pointless since I edited the stories quite a bit. And I only like to post the final stuff when it's ready. It's ready now and I'll eventually get it up and running! This material is pretty fucked up, weird, maybe a little jumbled and confused and what I'd like to think of as interesting and amusing as hell. It's by no means a "classic", but I didn't want to reinvent the wheel. I just wanted to explore my mess of a mind and reap the fruits.

I'm also working on the material for the new book. I'm thinking the stories won't be as long as they were in TMLR. I also wanna include stand alone pictures that don't really complement any story in particular. Comics may be included too.

I also still write for the best webzine in the world, Global Domination. Anything under the "Desolator" moniker was written by me. We have a lot of excellent writers under our Satanic wing. We also have a fucked up and excellent sense of humour, something that just about every other webzine seems to miss.

In other news, fuck David Hicks. He's been brought back here in Australia, from the hellhole that is Guatanamo Bay, and now he's complaining that he won't get any profit from his story? Someone's an ungrateful, overgrown fucking brat. What do we need to know anyway? Other than the fact that he abandoned his family to go to Afghanistan and serve the Taliban cunts? All we need to know is that he is a cunt who supported terrorism. I also find it hard to believe that a lot of people wanted him to be freed. Goes to show that a lot of people are morons.

Before I go, on another positive note, I declare that Immortal fucking rules. I saw them live and they are a wicked, wicked band. Ruins were a worthy band to share the stage with them too. Bands like Immortal, Mayhem (who I'll see in May), Satyricon and Gorgoroth are the best reasons to listen to black metal.

1/01/08: Will this be a happy new year for anyone? There will be more pain, death, and spiders with jigsaw puzzle pieces wedged in their little abdomens. If you like any of that, then this could be your paradise. This could be the year when I finally release my book The Misanthropic Lifetime Reborn. Then many minds, innocent or not, will be exposed to the essence of my weird, morbid psyche once more.

You know I'm writing for Global Domination, the website which you should sacrifice your lives for, right? Well I've put in another web book, titled "Serving Global Domination". It was gonna be titled "From An Abysmal Point Of View", but I decided it wasn't to be a suitable title for a web book that contains reviews and interviews concerning the world of metal. The nature of metal is abysmal indeed (don't get me stated on the point of view), but the title had to go.

Here's the link to my new and fucked up web book:

Serving Global Domination

And the older web books will be up eventually. About five more to put up I think... But not now though, cos I need a bit of Z time. In other words, sleep.

15/11/07: The Misanthropic Lifetime Reborn is still going through a lot of work. I know I said it would be finished this year, but that prediction was wrong. It's getting there though. I'm just a flat out perfectionist when it comes to my work. I've also been pretty fucken busy lately, but I try and make some good time for my writing each week. Most nights I've been able to get on with it, but I've often seen too many things that need changing. TMLR has gone through a lot of editing but the changes have so far made it more interesting, amusing and fucked up.

I also write for the Swedish ruling metal webzine Global Domination. There's a link to it on the left column of the page. My moniker is Desolator. There's a lot of good stuff to read on GD (not to mention that what we write is absolute dictatorship law) so check it out. The latest review I wrote covers Dimmu Borgir's awesome "Enthrone Darkness Triumphant". The next one to appear on the site is my review of Satanic Warmaster's "Carelian Satanist Madness", which will come up on the 20th of November. I gave it a 1 out of 10 because the band fucken sucks. If you wanna listen to some good dirty black metal, listen to something like Anaal Nathrakh. Go find the reviews under the name of Desolator if you wanna read some more of my shit.

My current plans for the Asylumentary is this:

Get TMLR finished, hopefully in early 2008 at the latest. But considering my inability to keep up with my estimated dates, I'm making no promises. And I'd best not rush this thing either. And if you liked what I've done in the past, you'll love how fucked up this book is. The fucked up nature makes Paul Jennings seem like a gummi bear in comparison. Don't get me wrong, I liked his works, but it's safe for me to say that my work is infinitely more bizarre and screwed up in the metaphorical head than his is.

Get working on some new shit. I've got another book and web book in the works. I know it would be better to focus more on TMLR and this book is among the highest priorities. If you think I haven't put much time or thought into it, you're living a fucken lie. It also helps to work on a variety of things.

Keep writing for GD. As a staffer, I have to write an article for GD each week. It's everyone's duty and it helps keep the site alive. It's not really a burden though. It's great fun and it's helped me improve my writing. I also wanna include these articles in the next web book (titled "From An Abysmal Point Of View"). I might also give them pictures to complement the text (because you know that images and text are sooo sexually compatible). There will also be some other related articles.

Upload the past works. This is dwells along the bottom of my priority list, but I'd like to get this done eventually. There are many web books to put up here, so don't hold your breath.

Work on stuff for Neuro Virus. I've decided my music project name will be Neuro Virus. I want to do some fucked up, depressive and brutally angry music. Sounds cheesy I know, but that's what I want, and what I want is what I get since this is my own project. I'm working on some tunes but I'm not in a rush to get anything released yet.

I know I haven't even said anything in ages, but I only choose to say something occasionally, depending on how things are going. And when something gets uploaded here, this page will let you know.

By the way, are people really offended by "Ho ho ho"!? Apparently it's gonna get banned from the human vocabulary soon. Degrading to women!? You've gotta be fucking kidding me. This world is going backwards into its own oblivion. There are too many stupid people that are fed with too much tolerance.

6/09/07: The Weird Dreams web book is back and running in the catalog. You can also click-clickety-click here to see it.That reminds me - the catalog section is up and running too, along with the links and merch pages. The about page has been updated.

Also, I have drawn up 12 new cartoons for The Misanthropic Lifetime Reborn. There will be at least 12 more for me to put in. The final product will be heavily drenched with visual matter.

Finally, I think I'll stop bolding the names of my works. It's getting on my nerves and I'm sure you can read the words as they are, right? Well I hope I can...

22/08/07: The new design is here, and if you can't recognise the changes, then your computer probably set fire to your bloodied eyeballs and melted them. And the Marduk gig was awesome. There were those who thought they were shit, but the important thing is that I was satisfied. Not to mention I was also satisfied by The Furor and Darklord! I didn't see Iciclan (the first step of the ceremony) but I'm sure they were great.

As for The Misanthropic Lifetime Reborn, I have drawn a few new illustrations for it. So far, so good...

15/08/07: The book, The Misanthropic Lifetime Reborn, is not actually finished yet. I'm going to put in a few extra illustrations and perhaps do a bit more touching up. But I really want it to be released this year and the additions shouldn't take too long to do. As for the site's new design, it looks killer but isn't ready yet. Hopefully I can get this done by the end of the year too. If TMLR isn't released this year, it should definitely be released early next year.

Also, I'm seeing Marduk (Swedish black metal) tomorrow night. Just thought you should know that.

28/05/07: The site is being re-designed, so there might not be many updates going on. Also, check out Gang of Awesomes!

28/05/07: After two years of work (well, every now and then I worked on it), the new book is finished. About time too I says! Next step for the agenda is to find a publisher. One who wants to make a deal with a psychopathic author. I have changed the book cover and the name. The new name for the book is The Misanthropic Lifetime Reborn. The new cover will be uploaded later and the catalog will be updated with more details of the book later. Why later? Because I don't know how many pages there will be just yet. But I can tell you this: having typed everything in Word and made the illustration arrangements, the book is about 120 pages in A4.

Also, this shall be the last update for a while cos I'm contemplating reworking this site. I want to create a new design and perhaps even learn some php to make things easier for myself. While I'm at it, I'm feeling a strong urge to kill whoever gave me the suggestion of doing the entire site in HTML since there's a ton of pages to upload! Oh wait, I'm the one who suggested for me to use HTML exclusively. Oh well, I guess I can forgive myself for that one since I also advocated the use of CSS, even though I was fucken drunk at the time.

3/05/07: I've been pretty quiet lately, but things have been happening. I'm working on the final proof-reading stage of Reviving The Darker Lifetime. I'm looking at finishing it this month. Then I just need to find a soul who's willing to put his life on the line and publish this tome of insanities.

The Asylumentary has a new staff member! I hereby raise my glass of blood to welcome Druss! This British fellow is one mean ranting machine. He lives and breathes rants. Then he writes them. It's his way of letting off steam and I'm damn sure it works well. Will his rants hurt people, like small children for instance? Probably, but who gives a fuck? People who can't handle reading rants need to die in some way or another.

At some stage, we will have a bio for him. Until then, I hope you can handle yourselves well...

27/03/07: The book has gone through the second proof-reading round. More info can be found in the Catalog. I'm also working on putting up the older works for said section. I've also posted the cover here for your viewing pleasure! The page will take a while to load, so it's on a seperate page. So click here, view and masturbate all the way to Hell!

Also, I've uploaded the Weird Dreams and Curses e-books and you can access them by clicking on the Catalog. Then you click on the links. The pages are generated by pure HTML, just like this page. I can see some layout consistency problems in the Curses pages (the yellow background section 'jumps' a bit to the right), but I'll fix that later. I gotta go to bed, dammit!

5/03/07: More progress details on the book can be found in the Catalog section. Get in there and read all about it!

23/02/07: The book is so damn close to being finished. Check out the progress updates in the Catalog page to read about my writing and musical progress.

21/01/07: Finally I have gotten around to bringing up a new site. This time, it's not with a free service, so I'm confident that I won't be stuffed around this time! Also be on the look out for my first real book because I plan to release it sometime this year! As for my older works, I'll get to bringing them back up soon, whether they're web pages or MS Word documents. Check out the catalog section for more details on my projects. This site is under construction as the Merchandise link doesn't work yet. But this site will see more content soon!

And yes, Happy New Year. New Years Eve was a great opportunity for my drunkedness. Is 'drunkedness' a word? If not, it is now, so be afraid.